.Friday, March 18, 2005 ' 12:16 PM Y
=x
Thanks for the offer ms nice...except ..
Ms nice.....is gone. Kinda sad. I don't understand. Why.
My fire burns bright....I feel that the time is now. Time to act.
I was going to write on something else. Really. I kinda thought that I would..until I kinda dropped by hern's blog. Kinda strange, the way life is. It realli is time for me.
Thelast tiem I manipulated someone was 2 weeks ago. Pretty easy actually. You just have to be a very gd actor, a gd emotion controller and very charismatic. Except I don apply for these things. which is why I have a group.
I don understand...don understand............
[ 'My time is waning.' I said coolly. " You don't understand, do you. The situation? You lose, I win. Get outta the way. "
He stared. I had to play the ruthless guy here. Otherwise I would never get my point across. He finally broke down, perhaps went a little nuts and tried to hit me. It was pretty much as good as over. I slammed him solid. He had a bleed nose. Started crying and ran away. Pathetic.]
Maybe people hurt you and manipulate feelings, cause distrust, and that's when you have to get hard. I hated violence. Now at these moments, I feel like i embrace it. I cannot resist it. So evil...so unpure......and yet I cannot control these things. What use is controlling emotions, manipulating others if you cannot control even the simplest evils........
I'm sorry for breaking out previously hern. This one is for you.
People think when they should act. Or act before thinking. Someday, I am going to have a total understanding of the human mind. Even if my education sucks. Which already does. It's not my fault. I'm never going to get my time of my own, only living as the servant for someone else?
Since it's this way, I can't feel sorry for myself. Only accept it. I hope hern will get over whatever trouble she has. The rest of you guys too. As for me.........
What about me?