.Friday, January 13, 2006 ' 10:49 PM Y
=x
I changed.
I finally got an answer.
A flashback.
I looked at myself. I looked so much younger than all my previous flashbacks.
7 years old? 8?
I didn't know. Couldn't guess.
I looked at myself. What was I doing?
What am I?
I looked closer.
I laughed. My small self was praying.
And i stopped laughing.
Now i remembered.
HEheh. I stop here.
BEcause I can't reveal everything.
Except this.
I was begging for it.
Begging for suffering.
I don't know what I ws doing. Too in love maybe.
But i asked for it.
MAybe i truly, honestly wanted everyone to be happy. Even if I took the blow.
Now. I would so love to take it all back. Regret. Sure.
Cuz i'm older. And now i know the consequences.
But through all of that.
I deacided.
Iwon't take it back.
I can't ever.
Nothing is impossible with God.
No matter how much i complain, no matter how much i sulk or yell , scream or feel suicidal doesn't solve the problem.
And at least I know.
* faint smile*
I have to start listening to myself now.
And finsih everything I've ever started.