.Friday, November 17, 2006 ' 8:32 PM Y
=x
Mood: Shadow/ ...
Im feeling really dark. And evil. And hurt. And cold.
Wow. It's been a while.
...Anyway.
So I'm happily minding my own business when on wednesday, shimin jumps me with all sorts of stuff. Stuff that I'd really hate to deal with. And I try not to. After all, how do you react when someone accuses you of killing her? God. Then she does something totally unexpected and uncalled for, and then..
And in the end, she blasts me with how she loves someone more than me and how she pleads with me heroically to protect her friends from yours truly, the Ultima Hurter. Clearly I must be more hurtful than I thought.
Not as if she didn't hurt me. At the very least, I have an excuse, even if I didn't do it intentionally. So...
I'm lost anyway. Clarissa hates me. Again. That's four times this week. I'm not getting anywhere, friend or no friend. ...I've got to be a really terrible person. honestly.
mm. so yesterday was tom's b'day. waik and I bought him a standard present, a bball. =)
Met up with some of the 6c guys. Amazing how people change. But at least..they weren't changes that made me hate or dislike them. Like... ------
..although a lot of ppl have forgotten something.
this would have been the 3rd anniversary of my death. if...I hadn't survived. but with the way most people treat me nowadays, you'd think I haven't thought of dying enough already.
I guess it shows how less important I am to everyone than b4.
So I crashed into a pole today, and broke out crying for not particular reason at all that was apparent to the basketball team. They all thought I was crying because of my injuries. Sheesh. My injuries have practically recovered.
So I broke. No big deal, right? I was going to break anyway. just not to break on tom's birthday. yeah. i owed him that.
Talked to teacher about...almost everything. Almost everything. I couldn't. I just couldn't.
And she got to my head. At last.
...I guess I know what to do now.
Maybe. Maybe I feel unloved. Maybe everyday I live life feeling without purpose, absolutely lonely and miserable. But.
I can still love. I can. And I will.
So maybe I have to restart. Begin anew. I don't know. See how as the rest of the year goes, and make a decision.
...I was never good enough for anyone.
...but.
I'm just an empty tank.I'm not the only one.