.Sunday, December 03, 2006 ' 10:16 PM Y
=x
Well...
Cheered up a little.
yesterday was fun. won't elaborate. cuz i know some ppl who woudl rather not know what happened.
Today really really felt disgusting at first. Is like. Everyone is praising God. And I, the typical angst darkness pathetic life sceptic [that it turns out wee clearly doesn't know me as much as he thinks...but he knows me anyway.=)]
So...everyone praising God just pisses me off. Or just the darkness inside me. I can't let go of the fact that when I called out to him then, he didn't answer. So it's like that.
Wee helpfully dragged me to the toilet when I collapsed from sheer power. so he blasts me with all the stuff he feels like saying. mostly of which i disaagree, because i know better or he knows less. so...
there are still things I agree to.
Like the fact I should change my mindset. mr ang went with me to the front today. then prayed for me, i prayed and all that. feels different. or similar? i don't remember. but it was amazing. but i know this wouldn't happen if there were different circumstances.
What I laughed at, and found amusing, was the challenge he offered me. For one day, not to be Luke Ho of the present. The opposite. Luke Ho of the past. But then again, there have been a lot of me.
So I accept. Bring it.
Well. Life still feels pointless, at any rate.
But life's interesting when you make it. Like M.I. Stuff like that.
I've got to get my memories back...
X