.Wednesday, February 07, 2007 ' 6:12 PM Y
=x
Mood: Well..
I noticed my moods are no longer specific. not a lot of point putting them there.
anyway.
lost to hong kai 6-7. after all my determination and my prayers. haiz.
then i made him a deal that if he beat me again, i would go back on the bball team.
he lost 7-1.
I don't understand it..how come I couldn't play my best against him the first time...how come he seems harder to beat than subhas now...
how come he couldn't win even when i said i would come back if he did?
how come he used these words 'you live in your own little world'..he was never even capable of using idioms!
how come...?
Hongkai, Subhas, Weng Siang, Joshua Lim...are probably the best players my age I've known. Singaporean, at least. well, weng weng's not counted..ahahas..
i've got less experience than hong kai, and weaker than subhas..but amazingly, i guess God has really helped me overcome again. words can't describe how distraught i was losing the first time.
al my energy was gone.
talked to teacher. at last.
i guess depending on her..is my fault, not hers. at least, i can finally admit that. I don't know how to not depend on her, but...
finding yourself..is a slow process..=(
who exactly is luke ho? He's been so many different kinds of people...
i don't know.
i've decided that God is mysterious and just plain weird. Apart from knowing what he is doing yes, loving yes, etc yes, but weird.
I don't understand ANYTHING that just happened. happy yes. understand? no.
for basketball, if i don't have the opportunity to train as much as the team...in order to keep up, i suppose i am trying to train at least once a week with them, whether i like it or not..it's a good experience, and hey, i figure i might change my mind bt the whole thing.
even without wee, huh?
this is really how it ends. or begins. it sucks..but..
I met a cool guy called benjamin today. or more like the other day..but whatever. didn' even know his name then. now he and i know each other a little bit. im really scared i insulted his mum. OMGOSh.
anyway, quite grateful he was there, otherwise i would have tried to kill hongkai or myself on the spot. huh. it was hard, losing to hong kai like that. i needed both him and teacher to talk me out of doing anything stupid..although i truly doubt they knew i was going to do something stupid.
clarissa and wee still not talking anyway.
..i guess, im not concerned anyway. 'it's their choice.'
no soft drinks till after cross country.
goals for this year are to:
1. beat subhas and hong kai and weng siang. yeah.
2. win cross country; again.
3. improve on chem and physics
4. impress ms ang with my superb math..ahahas. just kidding. but the math is a must. yeah hah.
5. mm. improve stamina. 2.4km must be below 9min, at least 8:30..if not less..gotta start training for it!!
6. pull-ups must NOT fail. must get at least 3 out of 5 points. otherwise will not get gold for NAFA. meh.
7. resist getting attached.
8. hoping i get along better with my family and friends...
if anyone is worried, don worry. this order is not in any order whatsoever. obviously, i don have priorities right.
worry bt THAT later, huh...
I need to be the best.You don't know why. The point is.I have to be the best. I will be the best.It's something I can do.ShadowFighterX