.Sunday, April 01, 2007 ' 12:38 AM Y
=x
Mood: Non-existent.
There was a man, a lonely man...Who lost his love through his indifference...Ah SHUT THE F*** up.
Your corny lyrics piss me off.
Im so going to get blasted for this.
but i don't give a shit! WOOHOO!
I sure ain't playing Solitaire, bitches.
So anyway.
People in my class can't stand me.
I officially have no social life.
I have nobody who loves me.
I do not believe God can fulfill my intimacy issues and obviously my physical needs.
I have not gotten over Junice Lim.
My God-Bro has gotten everything I have ever wanted, only wanted.
Im not jealous. Im just envious. right?
You all just don't get how serious I am.
Just because the problems' been there so long, because I keep whining about the same old fucking thing doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
Anyone here thinks I actually want to be in love with someone who doesn't even know I truly exist?
I mean, look at me!
I had a social life. I was relatively popular speaking, I have a multitude of talents, God loves me, I have hundreds and hundreds of friends, teachers and a family who loves me.
That was before.
Then all turned dark.
And then it turned light...
One reason is because when you experience something so good, when you get the exact opposite you suffer like crazy.
obviously people don't understand.
and the cycle goes on and on.
but hey, i don't blame you.
Jsut like i told everyone who made fun of my crush on Junice.
when you get older, you'll find out!
And then you'l suffer! YAY!
EXCEPT GUESS WHAT?! YOU'LL BE TOO FUCKING OLD TO EVEN FEEL THE PAIN.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW IT'S LIKE TO GOT THROUGH THIS AS A KID?!
of course not. people tease me, mock me, hurt me and when they become older.
what do they do? they complain about heartbreak. about how much life sucks.
try going through that when you're too young to even understand it.
peh.
yay.
same person who's getting baptized next week.
okay now that i have officially regained my composure.
..i'm being hit at my most personal spots recently.
i think the devil wants me to not be baptised.
like a test from God or something.
I can get through this, but only if you people pray for me and believe that I can.
Im not asking for your sympathy. I'm asking for your help.
i don't care how much more screwed up your life is, you know that deep inside, my true self would do the same for you if you ever felt this way.
but then again.
no one comes here anymore.
maybe im all alone.
darkness and loneliness.
is my friend.