.Sunday, March 25, 2007 ' 9:28 PM Y
=x
Mood: Um.
Mm.
no one comes around here anymore..
but surprisingly i find that okay. looking back at myself is better then nobody.
lesse.
um. had baptism class today but fely so depressed i commited sin again. i don't know when im going to grow up...get a bit more of a life...
did some other stupid things today..
like looking at all the previous files i have..
looking at my stories was nice...but..
clarissa's files..well...
haiz. just keeps reminding me of what a stupid and complicated guy i am.
i mean obviously she doesn't care at all anymore right?
athough so much for the part when she says 'no matter how mean you become, you're still my fren you noe?' or something like that. which hurts, because i did love her. even if it was for only a little while.
mm. knowing some people..they think they're in love but they just don't get the diff. between intimacy, a fling, a crush, infatuation and true love.
which is silly ultimately.
huh.
love doesn't really fade..it more like changes...mostly into a less than preferred kind of love but love nonetheless. it's everything it was meant to be. people define this as...
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away.
"Love is friendship set on fire."
"Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness."
"To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven."
"Love is like a violin. The music may stop now and then, but the strings remain forever."
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
and yeah..there you go.
haha.
then i loved junice?
i never get over it, do I?
mm. shouldn;t be comparing all the time. that's like taking advantage of my own feelings.
which is weird, wrong and true.
huh.
mm.
trying to kill, poison myself..
MAYBE...
i do not believe in suicide...anymore.
but it sounds so good sometimes.
like a desirious sin.
maybe i have a lot in life. lately, at any rate.
but the problems remain, and i long for the love of my life more than any of these other things..
mm..
i think im addicted to intimacy.
.which is creepy and wrong.
but to hold someone you love close to you..
is infectious. and desirious.
just to hold her in your arms, watch her as she sleeps?
..
im going mad.
like clarissa said.
舞娘`` this is girl world. says:
i take that as ure suffering from erm.....temporary insanity.
.b.
bye.