.Sunday, July 29, 2007 ' 5:48 PM Y
=x
ugh.
im really not feeling..extremely great.
as in. i found out that she's well. unavailable.
she was pretty nice about it, as usual. but it was kind of crushing. so yeah.
i
am more stupid than i thought.
I mean, someone so incredibly beautiful and amazing surely HAD to be attached, right?!
ah hell. i hate myself.
'Everybody knows I'm in, over my head...'
i tried jogging to get her outta my head, but now my knees feel weak and my ankle feels..worse.
couldn't focus on anything.
couldn't fall asleep yesterday, so worried that i frightened her or something. slept until 3pm eventually, when she answered. we smsed awhile, but she fell asleep and stuff.
im really. moody.
jeanette was pretty blunt when i called her to burst out my feelings, maybe she was annoyed at me disturbing her, i dunno.
pearl hasn't changed my blogskin yet.
im just so...destroyed somehow. i don't even know her that well. surprisingly, i already know why i like her so much.
think the last
time i felt this way was junice.
but then again, it could just be a silly thing. it's only been 3 weeks, after all.
i need to get over her.
now.
yesterday just keeps playing again and again in my head...
maybe i need to stay for dinner in church more often.
i gotta clear my head..tests tomorrow..work not done.
/i just can't force myself to work when im so internally weak right now.
..at least this doesn't change anything.
i think.
i hope.