.Wednesday, August 15, 2007 ' 6:11 PM Y
=x
Mood: Well...
Today sucked.
Well MOST of today sucked. have to correct that.
as most people know (especially ben goh and chong han), i was cracking down mentally yesterday under all the pressure and stress i was facing...
today got even worse..subhas challenged me one on one..
i don't really know why i accepted it...was it because i already knew he needed to win to fill his ego up or because i already knew that he needed to damage me physically and mock me in front of his teammates?
i dont know. subhas has changed a lot for the worse.
than again, he's not the only one, is he?
which means im referring to myself, duh.
huh...
so i cried twice, couldn't concentrate in lessons at all and almost passed out once (thanks jun xiang!) and i was really emotionally depressed, as normal. i guess people might call me an emo kid, or whatever, but if u call me a drama king i swear that God will do something to you. not me.
seriously.
couldn't take it, so i asked ms ang whether i could see the counsellor or something. i thought i would have to urge her, but she agreed really fast, much to my surprise.
i lost my swpecs screw in the counselor's room.
anyway, after that i went to the office, and then mdm neo voluntarily talked to me, and surprisingly she was really nice. i think she was really nice during the time i sprained my ankle, so i should cross her off my hate-staff list, which i don't actually have.
mrs lim's okay too, but catherine ang still isn't very nice.
then mr fu appeared, and even more surprisingly, he was even better. i think he's better at advicing emotional control rather than bgr stuff.
felt much better, but rushed home with my bball. just wanted to get away from it all. sorry if i shocked, hurt or surprised anyone...today, and recently. i know i've been quite a mean guy.
this year's depressing, losing both wee and subhas. im slightly consoled that at least they don't really..care about each other in the sense that they're not, especially subhas, at point of immense anger. i know both of them don't really...well. need me in their lives anyway. sort of always felt a little bit of an extra around the cliques that wee and subhas hang around with anyway.
i think, i've finally realized who i really am.
after tuition, which made me really sleepy, i painfully forced myself to work things out in my heaed...training at ridgewood. just asking god why today was so bad and stuff.
and then i smsed tom, and whether he realized it or not he was quite a comfort.
and then jen smsed me, and i felt really happy because she sent me the best sms i've ever received in my life.
=)
i think im falling in love with her already.
ehhh.
...better not use the word 'love' too fast though. it's hard to judge...
but yeah, really happy. and then jeanette used her sixth sense to tell whether i was unhappy, and she was happily wrong, but that made me even happier. jean's been paying a lot of attention to my emotional health lately, since sat's events, so im really grateful because i really need her attention. of sorts. i guess.
so came back, and now im blogging.
physics.
maths.
english.
chinese.
4 tests tomorrow, 2 studied at 99%, 1 at less than 30% and one not at all.
i have got to buck up...which is why im getting off now...
later peeps. thanks to everyone who cared and still cares.
ShadowFighterX
PS: Pray that Ms Ang doesn't decide to give me zero for the test because i missed it. in my defence, i really think i was in no state to actually do justy about anything, but a few marks is better than none. hope she doesn't. i don't..i don't want to hurt and suffer anymore.
PSS: pray that mrs ang gets better soon.
;)