.Sunday, September 30, 2007 ' 3:26 PM Y
=x
Quick update.
Taking a risk here, but what the heck.
okay...
thanks to um. Someone better to do. for saying something so nice. im flattered. but um. who are you? haha.
yesterday church was pretty good. well. good as it can get without jen or ethan or keith. =( and jean left early also. haiz.
but still was okay ba.
talked and decided what i have to do. the right choice is never the easy choice. spent last night doing my emo thing, and passed out. pillows still wet.
wonder what people think about guys crying. maybe if they have a reason to cry, it's not so bad.
i don't havea right reason.
like the song incomplete, and inconsolable.
going to tom's house soon. was a bit delayed since he's out of the house. need to study. sigh.
math papers coming up.
sometimes I wonder whether I actually know her. at all. maybe I've fallen for the part of her I can see, but the truth is that I dont know the rest of her at all. and that's part of the reason why I shouldn't be in love with her.
everyday I glance at her profile and rate from 1 to 10 whether it still hurts. hoping that maybe it'll drop to 9,9 someday.
it still hasn't.
im really a stubborn idiot.
oh, and yesterday's lunch cost me $11. it cost me half of what i was going to spend if I was going to see her for lunch.
at least that clears up things considerably.
at least I really believe that for once I can get over someone without changing for the worse.
how do I get into these situations is really what amazes me.
and how it turns out is even worse.
my luck is baadd.
i never thought there would be more than one clarissa in this world.
but i was wrong.
im just glad that maybe im not so naive.
or gullible anymore.
I wanna be a good person. still wanna help people, still can, even when I can't help myself.
I could do it then, I can do it now. doesn't matter whether im irritating or hated, tired or rejected.
I always can.
I pray that God will give me the strength and discipline to do my job..and to stop blogging soon so I can study.
lolz.
so for how many times I wonder...
when something truly heartbreaking happens and I become more of a jerk..
whether I can maintain just knowing that if I do the right thing..
if I keep HIJACKING...
if I keep persisting despite the pain..
then I know that it's all going to be okay.
So..
My name is Luke.
And I'm back.
ShadowFighterX