.Sunday, November 11, 2007 ' 11:28 PM Y
=x
Mood: ARRGHH.
im such a jerk.
honestly.
i wish that my head and heart would coincide but they just don't.
if its; just a memory.
then why is it so important?
i don't understand.
what my motive is..
what i want..
what im trying to do..
haiz.
i wanna leave her alone.
..
why does this feel so familiar..?
mm.
today was...
slightly uneventful.
mixture of constant resting and failed attempts to do my homework.
studied at least. lolz.
two tuitions tomorrow...3 and a half hours of it. sucks.
i just can't focus..
don want to either.
then bball with tom, yi feng and xian an. not too bad., just didn't really train..the kid wore himself out before that and..
well hopefully yi feng's free tomorrow or on tues..
xian yang was clearly enjoying his old friends' company. sometimes I take for granted that i see them so often..that i have them.
but yet, i still want to preserve my memories..at least, those that i have been able to hold on to.
i really wanted to leave her alone but since she lied to me, i guess...
'well it doesn't make it right.
maybe i should. huh. guess trying to be a gentleman does have it's prices?
am i genuinely interested or am i just still suffering from post withdrawal?
pathetic.
mm.
ming rui must be really bored.
i don know why. somehow her laughter is echoeing.
it's scary.
well i've decided to respect her wishes and leave her alone.
though honestly i wish i knew why she treats me like crap.
still.
she did offer to change my blogskin. and she was nice about it.
and stuff.
she has a heart.
i don't need to care ba. i'll just be really annoying, so...
well.
somehow, i still believe that I'm a good person inside, so I have to do this. not just for her, but for myself. maybe learning to leave her alone is the first step to letting go of things that i...basically don't want to let go off.
i mean i can let go of stuff from circumstance. like junice..
telling me to leave her..alone..?
okay now i remember.
not feeling better.
but i listened.
and. well. we're friends. so.
.
hmm.
but after all of that, i don't love her like i did then.
so maybe it should stay that way.
right?
makes sense.
yep.
what the hell am i doing?
i really shouldn't be typing all of this.
my thoughts are very revealing right now.
like im high or something.
too much h20. i notice i always have a can or bottle with me.
energy drink. hehe.
.
okay nvm.
wth.
leave her alone.
right.
got it.
ShadowFighterX
(i have GOT to survive tuition tomorrow.)