.Sunday, November 25, 2007 ' 12:44 AM Y
=x
mood: numb.
think i just threw away things that i have for things that i want.
which i obviously didnt get. otherwise i wouldn't be blogging like this now.
huh.
i barely feel alive.
can't feel any pain anymore. or sadness. just a whole lot of bitterness whihc doesn't feel like anything. and tiredness. but i can't sleep.
my sanity depends on this person, but i guess that person's really too busy then.
haha.
pretty ironic.
i think it's obvious..
i am going to die.
soon.
you can start cheering now, luke-haters.
till then, I certainly hope that people will know what's real and whats not.
cuz i don't.
don't even know who i am inside anymore.
I never understood, right until the very end, what I did to deserve this. maybe it was my secret sins. but i would have given them up for her. so if God really knew that, than I wouldn't be writing this down now.
everything you know that is who I am is gone.
so leave me alone.